Archive for the ‘In Her Own Mad Mind’ Category


While messing about on the internet the other day I came across the “Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale” (SUDS) and found it enlightening. It’s for assessing the level of subjective discomfort or psychological pain. It is a scale from 0 to 10 for measuring the subjective intensity of disturbance or distress currently being experienced, where 0 represents no disturbance, and 10 represents the worst disturbance the subject can imagine. The individual makes a self-assessment of where he is on the scale.

I realized that I spend just about every day of my life going back and forth between 7, 8 & 9 over and over throughout the day. Otherwise as a rule, I seem to hover consistently at a 7. No wonder I’m so fucking exhausted all the time.

This is the scale:
10 = Feels unbearably bad, out of control, as in a nervous breakdown, overwhelmed. The subject may feel so upset that he does not want to talk because he cannot imagine how anyone could possibly understand his agitation.

9 = Feeling desperate. What most people call a 10 is actually a 9. Feeling very, very bad, losing control of emotions, almost unbearable and are afraid of what she might do.

8 = The beginning of alienation, approaching loss of control.

7 = On the edge of some definitely bad feelings, maintains control with difficulty.

6 = Feeling bad to the point that subject begins to think something ought to be done about the way she feels.

5 = Moderately upset, uncomfortable. Unpleasant feelings are still manageable with some effort.

4 = Somewhat upset, to the point that the subject cannot easily ignore an unpleasant thought; feeling uncomfortable.

3 = Mildly upset, worried, bothered to the point that the subject notices it.

2 = A little bit upset, but not noticeable unless the subject pays attention to his feelings and then realizes there is something bothering him.

1 = No acute distress and feeling basically good, if the subject makes special effort she might feel something unpleasant, but not much.

0 = Peace, serenity, total relief, no bad feelings of any kind about any particular issue.

…to the place I belong!!!!!!

And no, I don’t mean West Virginia but at least that’s in the right part of the country. The longer I am out here in this warped politically correct fantasy world the more desperate and hopeless I become. The mindset of this area of the country is to far off the charts reality-wise it’s pathetic. And if I have to stay here much longer I don’t know if I can be held responsible for what happens…and why should I be? It seems that the mantra in this hellhole is “It’s not MY fault!”.

Seriously, the people out here are so fucked in the head it’s unbelievable. It must be the sun frying their brains because I can’t figure them out. Take driving for instance…out here a red light means keep going and a green light means stop. It’s like they are mesmerized by the pretty color of the green light and just need to sit and stare at it. Then they finally get their minds in gear and go and if you’re lucky 2 people might get through. Of course the reality is probably that they don’t go when a light turns green because people from the cross street don’t stop when THEIR light is red. Pathetically stupid.

I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PIT OF HELL AND BACK EAST TO THE REAL WORLD NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiness comes in moments,
Sadness settles in.

Quote Of The Day


“And for all my secrets kept,
I squashed the blossom
And the blossom's dead”

Twisted Visions

Part Deux