What does “being there” for someone really mean?
To me it means that sometimes you actually have to put yourself out for them. Do something you really don’t want to do, but know it will be best for them. Unfortunately I think I’m alone in feeling that because as I’ve discovered (much too late), the people around me, my family…the ones I should be able to count on…are NOT there for me now that I really need it. Sure they think they’re helping but they are only going as far as they feel comfortable (“if you want to talk blah blah blah”…um no thanks, talking about it only reinforces the rage I have inside).
I’ve laid out for my sister what I need and she basically refuses to consider giving it to me. The result is that I feel that I am completely alone and if that’s the case then I want it to be real. Don’t call me, don’t come around and don’t ask me to be around. Plain and simple. Leave me the fuck alone. All these years you’ve had your life the way you want it and I haven’t because YOU have decided that the responsibility of OUR mother is to be mine alone and frankly I resent the fuck out of that. And in case you haven’t noticed, I am not a forgiving person. I may let you get away with things for a while but I don’t forget and I don’t forgive. Ever. As I said earlier although you have your life the way you want it, you no longer have your sister. I hope your life is all you want it to be.
