How do I explain the fear? It’s constant and it’s black. It’s loud and obnoxious and cruel. It twists in my gut and it chills me to the bone and it paralyzes. It pounds and it screams. And it doesn’t ever go away.
So then how do I continue to live with it? And why?
I’m about to take up a position which is going to be deemed by some, if not all, as a terrible stand to take. As a matter of fact, if anyone were to agree with me on the subject, I’d be surprised. For you see, rather than arguing from the position of suicide being an [read more...]
I am a self-abuser, self-mutilator, self-harmer. Whatever label you give my behaviour, I use a razor blade as a coping strategy. The first time I cut myself, I was 15. My life had been shattered by the bullying I experienced at school. Most of the taunts were related to my acne – I was known [read more...]
By nature, women generally have instinctive needs to raise and nurture children. The fulfillment of these needs is natural and healthy. Emotional abuse occurs only when the mother attempts to use the child or teen to fulfill needs which are not consistent with those of an emotionally healthy adult. Emotional abuse occurs, in other words, [read more...]
First off, there are those who are reading this who might not know which camp they fall into, the extrovert or the introvert. Chances are, the majority of those reading this will know, but for those who don’t, let’s define those two terms here very broadly. Extroverts tend to be those who are more energized [read more...]
There are 8,760 hours in a year and in the year of 2010 I was alone for exactly…I’m not sure, I didn’t bother to keep track this year. I know I had MAYBE a couple hours in early October but that was it. I don’t know if I’ll even bother with this for next year, [read more...]
There are 8,760 hours in a year and in the year of 2010 I was alone for exactly 5 hours and 56 minutes. I’m already dead…when will I get smart enough to just lie down? Why am I so unimportant to the people who supposedly love me?
Sunday May 9, 2010 – 10:40am – 4:36pm = 5 hours and 56 minutes. It’s been a year since my last alone time…my how time flies when you’re having fun. Spent the majority of the time sleeping in my chair. Will i ever remember how to enjoy? I have a feeling that this will be [read more...]
Somewhere between upgrading and server house cleaning I seem to have lost my images. I’ll slowly be getting them back up here and will eventually get it done. Just need to find the time.
Another style change here at Muted Lunacy. Whatever, right? Sorry but I just can’t seem to settle.
My Gothic Twitch site is now officially open! Since I decided I wanted to keep Muted Lunacy as a simple blog dedicated to one aspect of my life I moved some sections such as The Book Nook, The Screening Room and The Recipe Box over to Gothic Twitch. The Video Vault did not make the [read more...]
© 2012 Muted Lunacy
