Muted Lunacy

resentment…anger…self-loathing…intense dislike (don’t want to admit to hate) for people. I can’t fucking wait for the time that I can disappear for good. The proverbial light at the end of my tunnel if you will.

I’m currently putting a plan into action where I will be able to just go off by myself to pretty much anywhere I choose and not have to be bothered or be a bother to anyone anymore. I can’t live as a “sometimes” for anybody and there will be a point where I won’t have to ever again. They bother when it suits them…FUCK THAT! If you can’t be there for me when I really need you to be then don’t feel obligated to bother at all. ‘Kay?

That’s the point I’m at and it sort of disgusts and saddens me that I feel that way. But what can you do, we’re all out for ourselves and that includes me.