You know…those people who are supposed to be there for you, to help you when you need it most. Well when you all decide to bash me for my attitude, I say this to you:

I’ve got a word of thanks
Thanks that I’d like to say
For the rage that I feel
For the rage that I feel today
Gotta stack gotta stack
Stack of chips on my shoulder
In everything I do
Cause I made I made I made
The mistake the mistake of trusting you
People like you just fuel my fire
People like you just fuel
Yeah my layers are thick
And I got a bad attitude
Yeah that knife in my back
Has fingerprints that belong to you
Gotta grudge gotta grudge gotta grudge
That I’m holding for you
As long as I live
Cause you lied you lied you lied
To my face and that’s something that I can’t forgive
You liar
People like you just fuel my fire
People like you just fuel, yeah

Fuel My Fire by L7

So I woke up this morning, looking forward to a peaceful and lazy Sunday. I get myself a cup of coffee and then go out to get the paper and there on the front page was the “punch in the gut”. Big headline talking about how houses have gone down in value and my being the masochist that I am I just had to read the story. Apparently in my area of town the percentage of homes that now have negative equity is about 33%. That means that if I tried to sell my house right now I most likely would end up having to pay because I couldn’t sell it for enough to cover what I owe. Now I know what you’re thinking, that I bought above my means like so many others (those who I believe are a contributing factor in this mess) but when I bought my house it cost a bit over 100 grand. Way on the low end of houses here…and within my budget.

In the same article there were what I think were supposed to be “oh pity me” sob stories but I have zero sympathy for these people, in fact I feel rage since they are examples of the problem. The first story was about a 26 year old woman who bought a 750 sq ft house for $132,000.00 with only $2,000.00 down with a sub prime loan. She’s paying 13% interest! Someone like her should NOT have bought a house nor should any bank have given her a loan. She now will most likely lose her house.

The second situation was an older woman who bought a house with no money down for a monthly mortgage of $1,400.00 a month. The stupid fucking cow only made $2,000.00 a month from 2 jobs, one she has since lost. Another foreclosure in the making.

I think we should take all the banks that gave people like these women loans and string them up. It’s criminal.

Yeah. If that doesn’t suck big time I don’t know what does.

Another Monday morning and the familiar feeling of dread that it brings is here. Any bets on how many times I’ll cry today? Or experience that internal fit of rage? Or want to explode? Or want to hurt myself or even someone else? Or run away screaming, or just scream?

I don’t know either, but I’ll see if I can keep count.