I’ve got a word of thanks
Thanks that I’d like to say
For the rage that I feel
For the rage that I feel today
Gotta stack gotta stack
Stack of chips on my shoulder
In everything I do
Cause I made I made I made
The mistake the mistake of trusting you
People like you just fuel my fire
People like you just fuel
Yeah my layers are thick
And I got a bad attitude
Yeah that knife in my back
Has fingerprints that belong to you
Gotta grudge gotta grudge gotta grudge
That I’m holding for you
As long as I live
Cause you lied you lied you lied
To my face and that’s something that I can’t forgive
You liar
People like you just fuel my fire
People like you just fuel, yeah

Fuel My Fire by L7

In the same article there were what I think were supposed to be “oh pity me” sob stories but I have zero sympathy for these people, in fact I feel rage since they are examples of the problem. The first story was about a 26 year old woman who bought a 750 sq ft house for $132,000.00 with only $2,000.00 down with a sub prime loan. She’s paying 13% interest! Someone like her should NOT have bought a house nor should any bank have given her a loan. She now will most likely lose her house.

The second situation was an older woman who bought a house with no money down for a monthly mortgage of $1,400.00 a month. The stupid fucking cow only made $2,000.00 a month from 2 jobs, one she has since lost. Another foreclosure in the making.

I think we should take all the banks that gave people like these women loans and string them up. It’s criminal.

Yeah. If that doesn’t suck big time I don’t know what does.

I don’t know either, but I’ll see if I can keep count.

To me it means that sometimes you actually have to put yourself out for them. Do something you really don’t want to do, but know it will be best for them. Unfortunately I think I’m alone in feeling that because as I’ve discovered (much too late), the people around me, my family…the ones I should be able to count on…are NOT there for me now that I really need it. Sure they think they’re helping but they are only going as far as they feel comfortable (“if you want to talk blah blah blah”…um no thanks, talking about it only reinforces the rage I have inside).

I’ve laid out for my sister what I need and she basically refuses to consider giving it to me. The result is that I feel that I am completely alone and if that’s the case then I want it to be real. Don’t call me, don’t come around and don’t ask me to be around. Plain and simple. Leave me the fuck alone. All these years you’ve had your life the way you want it and I haven’t because YOU have decided that the responsibility of OUR mother is to be mine alone and frankly I resent the fuck out of that. And in case you haven’t noticed, I am not a forgiving person. I may let you get away with things for a while but I don’t forget and I don’t forgive. Ever. As I said earlier although you have your life the way you want it, you no longer have your sister. I hope your life is all you want it to be.